Dealing with stress without being emotional

Yesterday was a tough day for me, my boss was being an ass. He gave me conflicting directions that led me to waste my day doing something different that I had done right the first time, had he taken the time to really explain it to me. He was in a bad mood due to his other employee and he becomes unapproachable. I really wanted to tell him to take his payroll and shove where the sun doesn’t shine and then he wanted me to organize his budget comparison so it looked pretty. He ended up submitting the payroll while I did the other and I let him know that his attitude was making it difficult to work with. Just because he is upset with someone else doesn’t mean he has to bring it into our office and expect me to accept it. Of course, I can say these things because my boss is my husband and what is he going to do? Fire me? Sometimes I wish! lol He apoligised and we got past it.

I was in such a good mood when I  came to work and I went to WW’s for the first time again and had an awesome meeting and met some nice people and made a date for next Wednesday with this other girl to attend the meeting together. I get back to work and I am hit with his pissy attitude and short on response when I ask for help or clarification. WTH? The old me would have grabbed a scone off the counter and took my aggressions out on it but I kept my cool and reminded myself that the problem has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him and how HE is handling his own stress.

I had a great day eating despite being in a kids camp environment. We had french bread pizza for lunch so I cut the portion in half and only took that half along with lots of salad and some fruit. Breakfast was the same way…breakfast pizza. ugh So I only took a 1/4 of the size and lots of fruit and 1 slice of bacon with my ff milk. I was satisfied. Dinner got thrown for a loop and I ended up rushing home to pick up the kids and take one to school for Band Practice and the other 3 went with me back to Camp for dinner. We had chicken breast, mashed potatoes and my husband made me a nice salad to go with it. I think I used too much butter just to make the potatoes taste like something.

NOTE TO SELF: If you have to make something taste like something, its most likely not worth something to eat. lol I didn’t have a large portion either thankfully.

So I think I had a pretty good day…not perfect but I’m retraining here.

Our meeting was all about Exercise and getting into the mindset. I have physical limitations when it comes to exercise because of my back pain and I have a dialated aorta. The best exercise for me is swimming and luckily we have a lake out behind our house. I have been swimming every other day which is good for me. Its my time to relax and regroup and I feel so THIN when I SWIM! lol Gotta love that!

WW’s officially weighed me and as I expected they found me to weigh more than my home scale. Not gonna let this discourage me. It wasn’t too bad either, they put me at 222.6 which is what I thought I weighed last Friday. So any progress on my scale means nothing to them, but thank goodness I started last Friday otherwise I would have been a couple of lbs higher still. lol I am looking forward to meeting the challenge of each day this week and getting another chance to prove myself on their scale.

Can’t sleep

I woke up about 5 am unable to sleep. Restless and anxious, funny how life creeps up on you in a sound sleep and screams “WAKE UP!” Dh was kind enough to switch sides of the bed with me so I could use the laptop. It’s going on 7 am and I am dying for a cup of coffee but out of respect for dh I won’t get up to make it. In the house you do what you can to keep the rugrats asleep.

I rejoined WW’s yesterday, against my dh’s feelings. Its my money…I will throw it away if I wanna! Later at the grocery store he didn’t say a word as I shopped for the old WW staples. Just a few to get me through the week until payday again. I need to run to the library and print off my temp card and hit my first meeting at noon. I am taking this one day at a time…baby steps…its all I can muster.

Yesterday went okay, except I was under my points by 8.5.

**Note to self: EAT BREAKFAST BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!**

So, what am I anxious about?

School, work, kids, dh leaving for Nebraska in a week and we are a month behind on the mortgage etc and wondering how I will manage until he gets back? His response: Everything will be fine! He has no idea how this weighs on me emotionally and how it plays a part on me physically. I just want to smack him sometimes.

Giving in…I have to get MY COFFEE!